Do you every wake up and just know it is time? You have a determination and a fight within that you do not even know where it came from! Did you get extra sleep? Where your dreams just fabulous? Or, are you just tired of feeling this way?
That is me. Tired of feeling this way. Out of control. No boundaries. No structure. And physically out of of shape. Eating whatever, whenever, just because. There is a fine line one walks when we get older. You have been married for a long time. You no longer have to prove anything. You can easily just say, I don’t care anymore! I am going to do what makes me feel good, I’ve earned it. Just gonna hang out and relax. No need to accomplish anything anymore. I have wondered what makes one cross this line? It really scares me to think of crossing into a territory of utter freedom, “retirement”. I worry there will be no return. I can’t do it! It is not in my makeup. At least not yet.
So today I awoke with new resolve to live within my comfort zone, boundaries. I will continue to look for that “thing”. I will set goals, and reach as far as I can. I am not ready to go to the “other side”.